Awareness of the future strongly affects our lives. And yet, the future does not exist – it is our mental construct that may match to some extent with what will happen. The trick is to minimise discrepancies between these two. To do this, we shall examine some common ways of constructing the future (expectations, predictions and hopes), but let’s start with some reflections first.

Reflecting on the future

• To what extent do you think the future is determined? A fatalistic view is that everything is determined; on the other hand a sceptic would say that we can’t even be sure that the sun will rise tomorrow. Where do you stand in this respect?
• How do you feel about the future? Look forward to or dread it?
• Is the future more important, less important or as important as the past and the present for you?
• Beside your personal future, do you care about the future of your immediate surroundings, humankind or the planet?

You can use this exercise to clarify your view of the future:

Looking in to see out: 

• Draw a road or roads that symbolise your future.
• When you finish, analyse your drawing. For example, a road can be straight or wavy, rough or smooth, busy or empty, going up or down. What does it tell you about how you see and feel about your future? There may be a few roads going in different directions. Where do they end? Which possibility do each of them represent? It is important to notice what is missing too (e.g. are there people, cars, trees?)
• After analysing the drawings, consider if you would like to change or add anything.

The past affects practically every aspect of ourselves, including our thoughts, feelings and behaviour, so it is well worthwhile paying attention to it. Needless to say, the past can’t be changed, but this doesn’t mean that we are completely helpless in this respect. How and to what extent your past influences your life depends on how you relate to it. We will consider here both unhelpful and helpful ways of relating to our past experiences.

Unhelpful ways of relating to the past

Avoiding the past: these are some typical examples:

• ‘I don’t want to think about what happened that day’
• ‘I don’t remember what happened’

Running away from troubling past experiences can indeed provide a temporary relief. Suppressing intrusive thoughts about the past may also be necessary when the present situation requires our full attention (e.g. it is not good idea to think about your childhood memories while taking an exam). However, if we keep avoiding the past, related emotions will continue to have an effect ‘below the surface’ and will be even less under our control. So this may be a short term strategy at best.

Ruminating about the past is triggered by perceived wrongdoing (our own or somebody else’s). These are some examples:

• Playing the same event in one’s head over and over.
• Keeping punishing yourself or others, with some vain hope that this will somehow make up for the past.
• ‘Why (did it happen / did he do…)?’

Ruminating is the result of our refusal to accept a past event. As the past cannot be changed, it becomes a circular trap, like a broken record. Ruminating doesn’t achieve anything but prevents you from being present and recognising current opportunities. In effect, it is just another mistake that does not correct the past ones.

This area focuses on what it really means to be present (being ‘here and now’) and why it matters. Attention and concentration will also be addressed as they are closely related to this subject.

Presence

Although we are always physically present, our mind can wander off away from the present and focus on the past, future, other places and situations, or day-dream. This ability has some advantages: we can plan, process or mentally escape from what we find difficult, unpleasant or boring. However, if we make a habit of it, the result is the opposite. The very feelings we are trying to avoid (e.g. boredom) can become more intense and more frequent. But this is not all, staying in the present has other benefits:

• It increases our awareness and control of the situation and minimises absentmindedness and clumsiness.
• It reduces stress, anxiety and worrying.
• We only really live in the present, so being ‘here and now’ enables us to live life fully.

This exercise can help us develop this ability:

Living mindfully can be practised in many situations (e.g. while doing house chores, walking or waiting). It consists of being deliberately fully attentive to what you are experiencing or doing at that moment. Whenever you notice that you are mentally elsewhere gently bring yourself back to the present and allow yourself to be absorbed in the here and now. To get the hang of this sort of mindfulness, start with simple, undemanding activities that we often take for granted, such as walking.

Try the above now. Get up and walk around, paying full attention to your walking, breathing and any other immediate experiences.

This area refers to the ways we relate to agreeable or enjoyable experiences and sensations. We will first consider the relationship between pleasure and happiness in order to see when and how pleasure can contribute to our happiness.

Pleasure and happiness

Pleasure and happiness can be related but they are not the same. Psychologists have observed that ‘pleasurable events may enhance happiness at the time of their occurrence, but their effects on the level of happiness tend to be transient’.(1) This is because pleasure is either temporary or we become habituated to it: to maintain the same level of pleasure, we need to increase the intensity or introduce something new.

Happiness, on the other hand, can be a lasting state of mind. It is associated with inner harmony (peace of mind), so it depends more on ourselves than on what is available to us. In fact, happiness is a natural state of being (that originates in love of life), but running after pleasures can make us forget this. So pleasure can either contribute to or hinder happiness. The latter occurs if pleasure becomes a need in itself. In such cases it creates dependency, makes the rest of life (inevitably a bigger part) look grey and dull, and makes us nervous and tense since we know at the back of our minds that it is temporary.

To avoid this and have pleasures contribute to your happiness you need to develop two complementary attitudes:

• Experiencing pleasures fully is less likely to create dependency or attachment because we feel completely satisfied (an incomplete experience, on the other hand, may lead to wanting more and even getting obsessed about something).
• Being in charge of your pleasures: enjoying pleasures without letting them enslave you.

Let’s see how these two can be put in practice.