Personal Synthesis
The Complete Guide to Personal Development
Personal Synthesis is a handy ‘one-stop-shop’ that brings together all the areas that play a vital role in our everyday lives, from self-awareness to intimate relationships.
BE MORE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE
DEVELOP YOUR PERSONAL QUALITIES
LIVE LIFE SKILLFULLY
Wherever you are and whoever you are all topics that we cover are relevant to your life!
You will find here how to take better charge of your emotions, how to think and make decisions well, motivate yourself, achieve your goals, relate to others, and many other things that really matter but we never learn about in the school.
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the world of human mind and interactions:
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49. Dependence
A number of related concepts are compared and addressed in this area: co-dependence, inter-dependence, independence (and its challenges), as well as loneliness and solitude.
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50. Individuality
This area focuses on factors that restrict individuality: copying others, conformity and peer pressure, being self-conscious, and trying to please others.
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51. Influence
Instrumental and intrinsic influences are compared first. This is followed by topics on how to influence others and how to give and receive feedback.
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52. Belonging
Addresses categories of belonging (physical, social, self-determined, and transcendent), pros and cons of groups, group requirements, how to join a new group, and mattering.
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53. Moral sense
Covers why listening to moral sense matters; why we need moral sense; developing moral sense (including quantitative and qualitative development); and managing moral sense.
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54. Protection
Why protection is needed, social resilience, responses to adverse behaviour, and three steps of assertiveness (dealing with emotions, preparing and acting) are discussed in this area.
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55. Relating to others
Covers respect, acceptance, and comparing with others. The last one includes symmetries and asymmetries in relationships and related concepts of superiority, inferiority and equality.
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56. Conflict resolution
Three scenarios are considered: when you accept that you have transgressed, when you disagree, and when you think that the other has transgressed (the last includes dealing with anger).
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57. Appearance
Covers why appearance matters; the importance of congruence; and three factors, besides physical looks, that make an appearance appealing (the state of mind, lifestyle and 'add-ons').
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58. Awareness of others
This area covers four topics: listening skills, observing (body language), empathy, and assessing others. The last one includes the compassion meditation intervention.
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59. Communicating
This area has two parts: the first is about what we communicate and includes topics such as sincerity and lying. The other is about how we communicate and communication styles.
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60. Behaviour
This area covers two ways of regulating behaviour (conventions and consideration); authenticity and spontaneity that make behaviour congruent; and also tips on social confidence.
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61. Relationship dynamic
Covers the motives for initiating a relationship (intrinsic, instrumental and intimate); strategies to deal with arguments and disagreements (lose, win, or win-win); and ending relationship.
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62. Intrinsic relationships
Is broadly speaking about friendship and covers ingredients that make this type of relationship good (closeness and trust, care and support, reciprocity and equality), as well reconciling differences.
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63. Instrumental relationships
Three types of instrumental relationships are covered: self-benefit relationships, mutual benefit relationships (which includes negotiation and team work), and other-benefit relationships.
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64. Intimate relationships
Compares passionate and compassionate love and discusses what is essential and what is not for the former, how to deal with rejection, and how to maintain passion in a long-term relationship.
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33. Meaning
Covers the difference between the meaning of life and meaning in life; why a sense of meaning matters; what can give us a sense of meaning; the scope of meaning and also commitment.
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34. Personal freedom
Covers four types of determinants that limit our personal freedom (physical, social, personal and transcendent), and how to deal with them. The latter includes a de-conditioning technique.
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35. Personal responsibility
The difference between imposed and personal responsibility and why the latter is important are discussed. This is followed by examining strategies that are used to avoid personal responsibility and some tips how to strengthen it.
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36. Deciding
Covers the paradox of choice; how to avoid rushing into decisions as well as procrastinating; and faculties that we can use to make decisions (intuition, feelings, perception, and thinking).
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37. Desires
A distinction between end desires and means desires is made first. This is followed by suggestions how we can modify our desires and figure out how they relate to each other.
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38. Gratification
Covers external and internal factors that affect gratification control, how to develop moderation, as well as how to develop the capacity to delay and desist gratification.
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39. Aims
Formulating your aims and achieving your aims are the main topics of this area. Flexibility and how to modify your aims, if necessary, is addressed too.
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40. Resolve
Covers determination and persistence as well as external and internal resistances to persisting. When to make changes or modifications and when to give up are also considered.
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41. Strategy
The first themes in this area are facing and clarifying the problem; they are followed by general strategies for dealing with problems and a number of specific strategies that can help find a solution.
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42. Achieving
Covers the stages of achievement: analysing the situation, preparing, engaging, rebalancing, and evaluating. What contributes to 'doing your best' is also included.
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43. Coping
Coping strategies are grouped in four categories: strategies for dealing with the situation, strategies for regrouping, as well as short term and long term strategies after the loss has occurred.
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44. Control
Covers why a sense of control matters; types of control (internal and external, collaborative and imposed control); and what affect control. Being in control and being controlling are contrasted too.
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45. Motivation
Compares negative and positive motivation as well as intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Some suggestions are also made about how to build motivation and avoid procrastination.
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46. Energy
Includes maintaining energy (body care, state of mind, rest, being active); how to preserve energy when low; and a number of interventions for enhancing energy.
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47. Organisation
Discusses bottom up and top down order and how to organise your space, virtual world and activities. Organising time that includes prioritising and various types of plans are covered too.
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48. Performance
Covers steps that can prepare you to perform competently as well as factors that make competent performance. Optimal performance and the concept of flow are discussed too.
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17. Courage
This area starts with dealing with fear reactions as well as their causes and triggers; how to develop courage and how to use the exposure technique for this purpose is described next.
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18. Confidence
Covers dealing with self-sabotage, how to building confidence and how to preserve it if you make a mistake or receive negative feedback. The effects of overconfidence are also addressed.
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19. Anticipatory attitudes
Discusses if worrying is really useful, why we worry and how to reduce and control worrying. Optimism, pessimism and the possibility of their synthesis is considered too.
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20. Security
This area deals first with anxiety (as different from fear) and anxiety control, including controlling panic attacks. After that, it examines the external and internal sources of security.
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21. Relating to death
Covers why it is good to accept death, meaning of death, dealing with the fear of death and some concerns related to death; loss and grieving and how to support those who greave are also discussed.
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22. Importance
Examines what is important to us and why and how much importance we should attach to something. What can help to reduce as well as increase importance is also discussed.
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23. Attachment
Three distinct concepts are covered here: attachment, non-attachment and detachment. It is proposed that they all have a purpose and that an ability to move on that spectrum is beneficial.
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24. Resilience
Covers what reduces and what facilitate resilience. Three steps of resilience (think, choose, accept and move on) as well as how to deal with iceberg situations is also discussed.
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25. Aliveness
I about the ways of enhancing our experience. Intensity and depth and how to get into depth is discussed. Risk taking (when it is worthwhile and when it is not) is examined too.
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26. Openness
What is openness, why to open up and when and to what extend to open up is discussed first; tips on how to regulate our ability to open up as well as close down are included too.
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27. Interest
Two reasons for getting bored are discussed: because nothing is happening and because of what is happening. After that, why we get bored and how we can get more interested is examined.
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28. Pleasure
Pleasure and happiness are compared first. Then, what helps us experience pleasures fully, how to get most out of our pleasures, and how to be in charge of pleasures are addressed
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29. The present
Compares presence (being fully present) and taking larger perspective. Some techniques that can help us develop attention and concentration are described too.
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30. The past
Unhelpful ways of relating to the past (avoiding, ruminating about, blaming and attachment to the past) are examined first. Then, some helpful ways of relating to the past are discussed.
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31. The future
Covers three concepts: expectations and how to reduce and avoid attachment to them; predictions and what can help to get them right; and hopes and how to make them work for you.
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32. Relating to the situation
Two obstacles to perceiving our situation accurately: seeing what is not there and not seeing what is, are addressed. Acceptance, rejection and evaluating the situation are examined too.
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1. Self-awareness
Covers three challenges to self-awareness and ways to overcome them: self-ignorance, self-deceit, and obscurity of some mental events. The last one includes some techniques to analyse dreams.
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2. Relating to oneself
Examines two basic attitudes towards ourselves: acceptance and rejection as well as the relationship between acceptance and change. How to deal with guilt and shame is also addressed.
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3. Personal change
Covers three prerequisites for personal change ('I can'; 'I like', and 'I want'), the stages of change (learn about your habit, prepare, do it, persist) as well as what to do if you relapse.
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4. Self-valuation
This area compares and examines pros and cons of two concepts: self-esteem and self-respect. Self-compassion meditation is suggested to enhance self-respect.
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5. Feelings
Some steps that we can take to be more in charge of our feelings are suggested in this area: noticing, accepting, evaluating, and finally affecting the way we feel.
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6. Emotions
Covers six ways of channelling emotional reactions (suppression, reinforcement, displacement, transformation, discharge, diffusion) and also how to separate emotional reactions from the situation.
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7. Excitement
Excitement refers to the intensity of our positive and negative experiences. How to manage that intensity and also how to sustain and increase excitement are covered in this area.
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8. Moods
This area discusses how to affect intense or prolonged bad moods; how to affect mild or transient bad moods; as well as how to create and maintain a desirable states of mind or good mood.
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9. Learning
Covers learning styles (theoretical, practical, reflective and intuitive) and also suggest some learning tips as well as mnemonic techniques that can aid our retention (memorising).
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10. Reasoning
Covers how to check whether or not your thinking is lazy or biased and what to do to avoid them. Objectivity and realistic thinking are also addressed here.
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11. Creativity
Covers mulling over and fantasising (as examples of spontaneous creative processes), as well as 'thinking outside the box' and visualising (as examples of intentional creative processes).
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12. Inner structure
Is mostly about integrating and developing our belief system. Mind-mapping and Laddering are two techniques that can aid these processes.
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13. Harmonisation
Is about dealing with inner conflicts. Distributive and integrative tactics are discussed and a win-win strategy for resolving inner conflicts is introduced. Regret is also covered in this area.
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14. Stability
Covers how to develop and maintain stability and includes some meditation techniques as well as two most popular relaxation techniques (progressive relaxation and autogenic training)
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15. Self-discipline
Two types of self-discipline (top-down and collaborative self-regulation) are distinguished. A number of tips on how to develop self-discipline and deal with 'tricks of the mind' are suggested.
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16. Development
Covers the prerequisites of personal development; two types of development (qualitative and quantitative) as also addresses a number of developmental challenges.
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HOW TO USE THE MAP
- If you want to approach personal development in a systematic way, start from the first area, Self-awareness, which is near the centre of the map (to find out why it is there, check out the ‘The Map’ tab in the menu bar).
- If you are interested in a specific topic or issue, try to find it on the map (look out for callouts with short descriptions of each area) or go to ‘Index’ in the menu bar.
- If you want to go deeper and deal with the roots of an issue, start with an area closely related to the issue and then move towards the centre of the model. Let’s say you lack energy (even though you are physically ok). Start with the area Energy, but if that’s not enough, you can move to the root area of that group, which is Motivation, and further down the line, the areas Decisions and Meaning (that may affect your motivation). You may also pay attention to the other areas in the same group. Perhaps you need a better balance, so you may visit the area that is counterpart to Energy – Organisation.
Why is Personal Development Important?
Be more in charge of your life
Knowledge is power and personal knowledge leads to personal empowerment. Let’s remember that how you play the hand matters more than which cards you were dealt.
Develop personal qualities
Personal qualities, such as self-regulation, resilience or communication skills are increasingly important at work, in relationships, and for navigating through life generally. We have to rely on ourselves more than ever, so our own development is not a luxury but a necessity.
Live life skilfully
Living life skilfully can be satisfying even if nothing else is gained. As with happiness, personal development is not just means to an end but end in itself – in other words, it feels good!
The complete guide to personal development
In a world overflowing with information that hugely varies in quality, there is an ever-increasing need for materials that distil and bring together, in one place, all that can be relevant and useful to our psychological well-being and development.
This is a painstaking task – it is not surprising that there are very few attempts out there to bring it to fruition. To do so took more than twenty years of research and refinement through the experience of hundreds of personal development workshops with young people, university students and diverse groups of adults, but finally here we are!
What are we aiming for?
Develop personal qualities
Personal qualities such as self-awareness, stability, self-regulation, creativity, assertiveness, etc. are increasingly important at work, in relationships, as well as for our own navigating through life. We have to rely on ourselves more than ever, so our personal development is not a luxury but a necessity.
Be more in charge of your life
Knowledge is power and personal knowledge leads to personal empowerment. How you play the hand matters more than what cards you were dealt.
Live life skilfully
This can be satisfying in itself even if nothing else is gained.
As happiness, personal development is not just means to an end but end in itself.
FAQ
If I have a specific issue where do I look?
The best starting point (particularly if you are not familiar with the materials) is the index. Go through the list and click on what grabs your attention. This will take you to one of the areas. While there, you may get an idea where else to go if you need too. Just follow your intuition.
Why call it DIY psychology manual?
We really need DIY psychology as we have to rely on ourselves more than ever. 'Manual' is also a fitting term: the materials are written in a ‘no frills’ way. Each area is presented in a simple and concise way. This should enable you to easily remember and apply its content, as well as quickly find material on any specific issue when you need it.
Is it necessary to have a prior knowledge in psychology to engage with the materials?
No. The whole point of Personal Synthesis is to make what have generations of psychologists and other scholars discovered, accessible to everybody.
Are the materials here different from the 1st edition of the book Personal Synthesis?
The basic structure and some fundamentals remain the same, but the content of individual areas has been substantially changed. The materials are also made more accessible and user friendly.
Do you have some additional questions or comments? Please post them below or send us an email, we would love to hear from you.